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A lot of networking sounds, in effect, something like this:
Hello, I’m looking for a job. Do you have any openings?
Too many people approach networking as an opportunity to get something they need — usually a job — and when the need is fulfilled, they quit networking. It’s all about ‘getting’.
True networking, however, is about giving. Instead of “What can you do for me?,” the focus should be “What can I do for you?” When networking is about getting, it becomes a temporary event. But when networking is about giving, it becomes a lifestyle.
I call this Lifestyle Networking vs. Crisis Networking. Some of the differences are shown in the following comparison chart:
Lifestyle networkers look for opportunities to give, even when they don’t expect to receive anything in return. Lifestyle networkers expect to serve, rather than gain. Lifestyle networkers find the process energizing, and not draining. And yet, the irony is that the lifestyle networkers typically receive abundantly — much more than the crisis networkers.
Seth Godin had an interesting post yesterday in which he relates this irony to marketing. He writes:
“Now, more than ever, it’s easier to give even when it seems like you’re not going to get. The happy irony is that this turns out to be a very effective marketing approach, even though that’s not the point.”
The same is true in networking (of course, some would argue that networking is marketing). When you give without expecting anything in return, it turns out to be a very effective networking approach. You receive by giving, not by taking. Effective networkers, therefore, are givers.
These are just some raw thoughts about networking that are still baking in my mind, so you may have some additional ideas about the differeces between Lifestyle Networking and Crisis Networking. If so, I would love to hear them.
And perhaps someday soon we’ll meet each other at a networking event and we’ll say:
“Hello. What can I do for you?”
I came across a quote this evening that inspired me, as it relates to many things I’ve been learning and talking about in the last few days.
Speaking about how she survived several tragedies and trials in her life, Elizabeth Edwards had this to say:
“People who knew we had lost a son said, ‘You are so strong,’ and when I had breast cancer people would say ‘You are so strong,’ and I thought ‘They don’t know there’s a trick to being strong, and the trick is that nobody does it alone.’”
Nobody does it alone.
No matter what your trials and struggles are today, you are not intended to carry those burdens by yourself. Sometimes we don’t like to admit it, but we are designed to be relational and dependent on each other. Whatever your struggle, you will find strength when you share it with others.
We sometimes think that sharing our struggles is a sign of weakness, or an admission of failure. “If I were just strong enough or brave enough or smart enough, I wouldn’t have to ask for help.” The truth, however, is that we grow stronger through our vulnerability.
Nobody does it alone.
We also grow stronger by helping to carry another person’s burden. When we become so stubborn and independent that we can’t share our struggles, we may be preventing someone else from receiving the joy and blessings of helping us. Just as we all need a little help from time to time, we also have a need to help someone else from time to time.
Nobody does it alone.
Sometimes it’s hard to toot your own horn, but when someone else does it for you… well, that’s a different story. Thanks to Jason at JibberJobber for his kind words about this blog. And welcome to Jason’s readers who have kindly stopped by for a visit.
What “one thing” are you focusing on? Or are you being distracted by all the clutter in your life? Toby has a post this week about finding your passion. It’s worth reading.
One way to eliminate clutter in your life and stay focused is to have a trusted coach. We are often oblivious to our own clutter, so it’s helpful to have someone who can gently point it out and help us get rid of it.
Last week was spring break for our schools, so we took the opportunity to spend some time with our extended family at the lake. (That’s why I haven’t posted for a few days.) We stayed in a cabin that was perched on a hill just a few yards above the lake, with a large veranda from which we enjoyed some beautiful sunsets (see photo) — a truly idyllic setting for our short R&R.
As our time together drew to a close and and before we went our separate ways, we asked the kids what their “highs” were during our time together. Their highs included things like walks along the shore, finding shells, skipping rocks, watching the sunset, and just spending time with their cousins.
One of my highs was having about two hours of uninterrupted time to visit with Dustin. As I’m going through some transitions in my life, it’s good to have a sounding board to share ideas. Dustin is one of those rarest of friends who provides encouragement, inspiration, and honest feedback. I’ve been fortunate to have people in my life like Dustin, Toby, Dave, Rob, and–more recently–Carl, who help to keep me grounded and focused.
Whether you call them coaches, mentors, advisors, or just great friends, it is important to have trusted advisors that you can call on. Not just a cheerleaders (though sometimes we need that, too), but someone who knows you well enough and cares for you enough to tell you the truth. This is especially true during times of major transitions in our lives, when stress or enthusiasm can cloud our judgment.
We were not created to go through life alone. We are more effective and more fulfilled when we have someone who can help us along the journey.
Occasionally I come across a quote about work that inspires and motivates me. Rather than just reading them and moving on, I thought I would start sharing them here. This one is from Woodrow Wilson:
“You are not here merely to make a living. You are here to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand.”
How have you enriched the world today?
Thanks to Alexandra at Water Cooler Wisdom for introducing me to InterviewTrue.
This is an online service that allows people to practice their interviewing skills. You can pick from more than 1,000 common interview questions. An interviewer appears on screen and you answer the questions just as if you were in an interview session. You can then review and critique your interview style. And if you’re really brave, you can share it with friends, family, and associates to get valuable feedback and coaching.
The price is very reasonable: 6 months unlimited access for $19.95. You will need a computer equipped with a web cam, a microphone, and Internet Explorer (not Mac or Firefox friendly). I have not tried it yet, so I’d love to hear from someone who has. If you try it, let me know how you like it.
What defines a “successful” career?
- Money?
- Power?
- Prestige?
- Popularity?
Too often we define success by looking in the review mirror. We look at our accomplishments to see how our peers and employers value our contribution — measured by our salary, position, or influence. In other words, we let the market be our measure of success or greatness.
Seth Godin talks about this phenomenon as it relates to a work of art, or a song. If the picture sells for a lot of money, or if the musician becomes really famous, our society tends to assume that there must be some inherent quality that makes it great. He says
“After all, what makes a great work of art should have nothing at all to do with how much it sells for and everything to do with how it makes you feel. I think the game here is in the definition of ‘great.’ And what society has chosen…is that ‘great’ means successful. Not the other way around.”
We tend to do the same thing with our careers. We spend too much energy focusing on how to be “great” instead of how to be “successful.” We find success by using our gifts, talents, and passion to help or serve others. We find success by discovering and doing what we are created to do.
What are you created to do?
Good news for the job market: both workers and managers expect strong job growth in the coming months. The February Hudson Index indicates that 32 percent of workers (up 2 percent) and 33 percent of managers (up 3 percent) expect their organization to add jobs in the near future.
In addition, a record low of 14 percent expect layoffs in the coming months.
Of course, the numbers are based on employee perceptions, but it does suggest that employees are becoming increasingly optimistic about the job market. I’d be interested in hearing your perception of the job market where you live (hint: leave a comment).
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UPDATE: I just came across another interesting Hudson survey:
- 21 percent of employees beleive they will earn “significantly” more in 2007 than in 2006
- 42 percent of employees expect to earn “a little” more in 2007 than in 2006
Thus, about two-thirds of employees have a positive outlook on their financial situation.
A couple of weeks ago, I posted a comment about the Value of Work. To my surprise, it has become the most popular post on my blog to date, despite the fact — or perhaps because of the fact — that it contains no original content on my part. (Thanks for keeping me humble!)
Considering the popularity of that post, I thought you would enjoy this post from Guy Kawasaki’s blog about the Gift of Work. It links to a sermon by Nancy Ortberg. Disregard the comments in the blog about the video being taken down — apparently their site got overloaded, but it is back up now.
Let me know if you find this as meaningful as I did.
