Prior comments can haunt you

Developing an online presence is an effective way to establish your professional brand, expand your network, and create opportunities. In fact, many writers now consider an online presence to be an essential – not optional — component of a candidate’s portfolio.

One of the questions that often comes up is about “youthful indiscretions.” What about those posts, comments, and photos that may have been posted years ago?

I came across this article in the Washington Post recently about a newly minted lawyer named Kiwi Camera. And not just any lawyer — a magna cum laude Harvard graduate. He cannot land a job as a law school professor because, at age 16, he wrote racist remarks in a summary of a Supreme Court decision that was subsequently posted to the Web. Despite his otherwise stellar resume, his racist comments are now part of his online profile.

Lest you think this is an unfair indictment for a youthful indiscretion, consider one student’s perspective:

“We shouldn’t have to be put in a position where we have to defend [racist comments] by our professor.”

Given the choice bewteen two equally qualified candidates, why would a potential employer risk the potential embarrassment and liability of hiring such a candidate?

They wouldn’t.

So that raises the next question: Why would a student or job seeker sabotage his or her online profile by posting objectionable material on a blog, a personal web site, or a social networking site like LinkedIn, Facebook, or MySpace?

They shouldn’t.

This reminds of a story about an old man teaching a boy about the impact of his words. He told the boy to pluck the feathers from a chicken and spread them along a path. When the boy finished and returned, the old man told him to now g and retrieve every feather and put them back in the chicken. The boy complained, saying that many of the feathers had blown away or been picked up and could never be retrieved. And even if he could, it would be impossible to put them back on the chicken.

So it is with our words — once departed, they can never be retrieved or taken back.

His purpose

9 Networking tips for introverts

Networking events can be overwhelming for introverts. I recently had an opportunity to brainstorm with a group of introverts about how to be more effective at networking. Here are some of the tips the group came up with:

1. Set goals. Decide before the event what you want to accomplish, and don’t leave the event before achieving your goal. For example: How many people you want to meet? Is there a specific organization for which you want to find a contact?
2. Prepare an introduction. Prepare and practice a brief (15-30 seconds) personal introduction. Knowing what you will say ahead of time makes introductions easier, and the consistent message helps to establish your personal brand. (You don’t want to come across as mechanical and scripted, but you should be able to quickly and clearly explain who you are and what you do.)
3. Take a break. Be aware of your mood and energy level. For many introverts, working a crowd can be very exhausting, and it can start to show in your body language. If necessary, leave the room for a few moments to refresh and regroup.
4. Find the food. People are typically more approachable around food. Talking and eating just seem to go together.
5. Arrive early. Introverts are typically more comfortable in smaller groups, so plan to arrive early when the crowd is smaller. People are often eager to connect with someone as soon as they walk in, so being there early allows you to greet people as they arrive.
6. Spot the loners. It’s easier to strike up a conversation with someone standing alone than to break into a group conversation.
7. Practice. Go to several networking events and become more comfortable socializing. Remember that networking is a skill that requires practice. The more you practice, the better you become. Take advantage of safe environments such as church and school events to hone your skills.
8. Eye contact. It is very tempting for the introvert’s mind to wander. They may be thinking about what to say next, or simply processing what they are hearing. Stay focused on the other person by maintaining good eye contact.
9. Smile. A genuine smile attracts people to you.
10. Find a partner. Ask an experienced networker to introduce you to others. It helps break the ice. Be sure to find a way to reciprocate the favor (remember, effective networking is about giving, not getting). Updated 4/5/2007 — thanks to Pete Aldin.

Any other ideas? Please share them.

A sociable introvert

At a seminar I was attending recently, we were asked to divide ourselves into groups of self-described extroverts and introverts. Several people were surprised when I joined the introverts group. They pointed out that throughout the seminar, they had observed me

• approaching strangers to introduce myself,
• initiating conversations,
• asking questions during the session, and
• volunteering to speak before the group.

Surely, then, I must be an extrovert.

But not so fast… What they don’t know about me is that after the seminar I need to have some “alone” time to recharge. Whether it is reading, writing, taking a walk, or some similar activity, I need some time alone to reflect on and process the stimuli I’ve just received.

• Extroverts draw energy from external stimuli (e.g. people and things).
• Introverts draw energy from internal stimuli (e.g. ideas and concepts).

People sometimes equate introversion with shyness or social awkwardness, but introverts do not necessarily lack social skills. While shyness may be a factor for some, the dysfunction of many introverts in social settings has less to do with shyness than it does with energy. In other words, the introvert may become so content entertaining his internal stimuli that he doesn’t perceive a need to expend energy on external stimuli. My son has a t-shirt that summarizes this introvert mindset. It says:

“I’m in my own little world. But that’s okay… they know me here.”

For many introverts, therefore, the challenge of social situations is not to overcome shyness. The challenge is to recognize and appreciate the value of the external stimuli. After all, the external stimuli are a cornucopia of the things we introverts really love:

more stuff to think about.

Target misses the target

During a recent trip to Target, the cashier told me that I was randomly selected to complete a guest survey for a chance to win a $1,000 gift card. I don’t normally complete such surveys (survey = mailing list), but I guess the chance for $1,000 persuaded me.

First problem: The cashier had highlighted the required User ID and password printed on my receipt, which smeared the ink and made the numbers nearly illegible. I entered about four different combinations of numbers before I finally got access to the survey.

Second problem: After answering the first question, I clicked “Next” to continue and promptly received an error. I tried another browser and got a similar error.

Third problem: Target just turned a positive experience into a negative experience.

 

“Cliff’s Notes” on steroids

One of my life goals is to publish a book. I imagine it being so well written — so concise and succinct — that it would be futile to write an executive summary or a review. Every word would be so important that it could not be reduced to anything less than the original. But that probably wouldn’t sell. It seems that most books are written more for the publisher than for the reader, using at least twice as many words as necessary to convey their most important concepts.

Perhaps someday that will change. But until then, we have the First Friday Book Synopsis in which Karl Krayer and Randy Mayeux promise to “take you through two books, cover-to-cover, in just one hour.” As one participant said, “It’s like Cliff’s Notes on steroids.” If you are in the Dallas area, this is a great opportunity to meet other business professionals, enjoy a hearty breakfast, and learn about new business books.

The next event is this Friday, April 6. I encourage you to check it out. Karl will review Our Iceberg is Melting: Changing and Succeeding Under Any Conditions by John Kotter et al. Randy will review How She Does It: How Women Entrepreneurs are Changing the Rules of Business Success by Margaret Heffernan.

If you are not in the Dallas area, you can still benefit from the synopses. Many of them are recorded and are available online in mp3 format.

Effective networkers are givers

A lot of networking sounds, in effect, something like this:

Hello, I’m looking for a job. Do you have any openings?

Too many people approach networking as an opportunity to get something they need — usually a job — and when the need is fulfilled, they quit networking. It’s all about ‘getting’.

True networking, however, is about giving. Instead of “What can you do for me?,” the focus should be “What can I do for you?” When networking is about getting, it becomes a temporary event. But when networking is about giving, it becomes a lifestyle.

I call this Lifestyle Networking vs. Crisis Networking. Some of the differences are shown in the following comparison chart:

Lifestyle networkers look for opportunities to give, even when they don’t expect to receive anything in return. Lifestyle networkers expect to serve, rather than gain. Lifestyle networkers find the process energizing, and not draining. And yet, the irony is that the lifestyle networkers typically receive abundantly — much more than the crisis networkers.

Seth Godin had an interesting post yesterday in which he relates this irony to marketing. He writes:

“Now, more than ever, it’s easier to give even when it seems like you’re not going to get. The happy irony is that this turns out to be a very effective marketing approach, even though that’s not the point.”

The same is true in networking (of course, some would argue that networking is marketing). When you give without expecting anything in return, it turns out to be a very effective networking approach. You receive by giving, not by taking. Effective networkers, therefore, are givers.

These are just some raw thoughts about networking that are still baking in my mind, so you may have some additional ideas about the differeces between Lifestyle Networking and Crisis Networking. If so, I would love to hear them.

And perhaps someday soon we’ll meet each other at a networking event and we’ll say:

“Hello. What can I do for you?”

The trick to being strong

I came across a quote this evening that inspired me, as it relates to many things I’ve been learning and talking about in the last few days.

Speaking about how she survived several tragedies and trials in her life, Elizabeth Edwards had this to say:

“People who knew we had lost a son said, ‘You are so strong,’ and when I had breast cancer people would say ‘You are so strong,’ and I thought ‘They don’t know there’s a trick to being strong, and the trick is that nobody does it alone.’”

Nobody does it alone.

No matter what your trials and struggles are today, you are not intended to carry those burdens by yourself. Sometimes we don’t like to admit it, but we are designed to be relational and dependent on each other. Whatever your struggle, you will find strength when you share it with others.

We sometimes think that sharing our struggles is a sign of weakness, or an admission of failure. “If I were just strong enough or brave enough or smart enough, I wouldn’t have to ask for help.” The truth, however, is that we grow stronger through our vulnerability.

Nobody does it alone.

We also grow stronger by helping to carry another person’s burden. When we become so stubborn and independent that we can’t share our struggles, we may be preventing someone else from receiving the joy and blessings of helping us. Just as we all need a little help from time to time, we also have a need to help someone else from time to time.

Nobody does it alone.

Toot!

Sometimes it’s hard to toot your own horn, but when someone else does it for you… well, that’s a different story. Thanks to Jason at JibberJobber for his kind words about this blog. And welcome to Jason’s readers who have kindly stopped by for a visit.

One thing

What “one thing” are you focusing on? Or are you being distracted by all the clutter in your life? Toby has a post this week about finding your passion. It’s worth reading.

One way to eliminate clutter in your life and stay focused is to have a trusted coach. We are often oblivious to our own clutter, so it’s helpful to have someone who can gently point it out and help us get rid of it.